


You're my Clarity

by Kumikoko



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eren Centric, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Songfic, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6828457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumikoko/pseuds/Kumikoko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Upon Armin's death, Eren realizes he has been in love with him ever since that night they sat around the campfire together and blew misty breath at each other like the couple of children they were. There are so many things left unsaid, and undone that Eren breaks, becoming a empty shell of what he used to be. </p>
<p>They were supposed to go to the ocean together, so how could Armin up and sacrifice himself like that? </p>
<p>Mikasa tries to save Eren from himself but she cannot push pass the whirling tornado of emotions Eren goes through as he grieves the loss of his best friend. </p>
<p>Lost in a sea of woe, the only one who can bring clarity to Eren is Armin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're my Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to start by thanking galacticmimi for introducing me to Owl City's song, Up All Night. It is a song she features in her own fanfiction, You Were my Clarity, I swear, All Alone in a Daydream which for anyone who is interested is a lavishly brilliant Erwin/Levi fanfiction. As soon as I heard the song I knew I had to write my own songfic for it.
> 
> There might be a spoiler for chapter 82 of the Attack on Titan manga if it goes down the path I am absolutely dreading. I would also recommend that you grab a tissue because I cried a little writing this fanfic. The angst made me angst. I do believe, however, that I have wrote a master piece as far as my work is concerned.
> 
> Update: I KNEW IT! This fanfiction was an accurate prediction! It may not be 100% spot on, but come on, people. You know I'm brilliant. I, as I am sure other people have guessed, predicted that Armin would freaking die. Oh my God. I can't begin to express the sadness I feel that Armin will never see the ocean. I really feel kind of sick over this. I think I need to go watch Madoka Magica. -curls up and rocks back and forth-
> 
> (I added the tidbits indicating burnt and charred because before I just had "mangled", now that I've read chapter 82, where before, I just guessed as to what might happen. As much as I want to now change this around to match 82 perfectly, I won't. )
> 
> I do not own the characters and I do not own the lyrics to the song.

**You're My Clarity**

 

_I fell in love with a ghost_

_Oh, under the moonlight_

_You took my hand and held me close_

_For once I was alright_

Two young boys sat next to each other, around a dimly lit camp fire. They both shivered in their tattered clothes, and blew air out of their mouths to watch it materialize in front of them as a white, wispy mist. A small smile was exchanged between them once they realized they could make a game of blowing mist at each other. There was nothing particularly fun about their made up game, yet they laughed anyways, their voices barely audible over the wind whipping their clothes around.

Each one of them knew they could retreat from the harsh wind into the desolate shack behind them, yet they wanted to sit by the crackling flames until the wind snuffed the fire out. The other people they shared the shack with had already gone inside, leaving them alone—just how they liked to be on days that had worn them out both physically, and mentally.

“How do you feel?” The brunette boy inquired to his best friend, who was currently resting against him for warmth.

“Numb.” Replied the blonde child, and nestled closer to his copper skinned friend.

Brutal days and hours of farm work with little reprieve and pay had taken a toll on the kids. They were too thin for their age, and were perpetually hungry. The only nights their roaring stomachs did not keep them awake were the days that Eren, the brunette managed to pilfer food from the maket. Their sunburnt bodies expressed their exhaustion in the form of raw, blistered hands and aching muscles. There was dirt crusted into their hair, and caked onto their bodies from days ago since bathing had become more of a luxury now than it was a year ago.

“Should we go inside?” Eren suggested with worry etched into his tone about their wellbeing.

They were young, but they both knew that the winter air could kill them if they tempted fate for too long.

“No, I’m okay. I don’t feel any pain.” The blonde, Armin murmured, and stared at the boldly colored flames, flickering amongst the snow beginning to fall.

Eren didn’t feel any pain either, so he knew well of the appeal to stay outside for as long as they could. If one of them fell asleep, they knew that would be troublesome.

“I was thinking…why does the moon glow?” Eren asked as he stared up at the moon, knowing his question was one Armin wondered about too.

“Huh?” Armin peeled his eyes away from the flames and lifted his head up to look at the full moon bathing them in a silver, ethereal light. “I suppose the sun might have something to do with it.” Answered Armin thoughtfully, while resting his head on Eren’s shoulder.

“Do you think there is a world like ours in the sky?” Eren questioned, wanting to hear Armin speak the way he used to when they could play together on the cobblestone street in front of their houses without a care in the world. That was just a year ago, but to the two young boys, one year felt like forever.

“Yeah, why not?” Armin suggested, his chapped lips quirking up into a small smile.

“Tell me about the world in the sky.” Eren said, and tilted his head to rest on Armin’s head.

“Well…the world contains vast oceans, white from the endless amount of salt in them…and the liquid fire destroys everything it touches…but it is magnificent to see…and could warm us up in an instant. We would never be cold again if we were near the watery flames. Then there’s the…” Armin began retelling a story he knew from heart, and let his eyes shine with innocence he thought he lost the day the titans destroyed his childhood. Eren listened patiently, and let himself smile and feel alive as he imagined himself exploring these wondrous fantasies that he had a right to.

This world Eren was born into, he would unearth the relics lost to history with Armin at his side. The two of them would be the first to witness what was once lost, and forgotten to the human memory. They would become adventures, and maybe even fight dragons and rescue princesses…once they could freely explore the world beyond the sacred walls. Eren clapped his hand over Armin’s, and intertwined their fingers as Armin continued to speak, using his imagination to paint a future for the both of them.

Neither boy knew what the future held for them, but right now, they were together. That was all that mattered to them.

_I cried and the tears fell from my eyes_

_Like a waterfall_

_And I swear I could feel you in my arms_

_But there was no one there at all_

The dismal future was unkind to the growing boys who barely endured a past that had stomped out their innocence and sense of security.

They had shared their hopes and dreams with each other, and had planned to eek out a better life for themselves. Eren, almost seventeen, was the only one still standing, alone now that he was separated from the boy he grew up with.

The boy he fell in love with.

The same boy that was now burnt red, like the passion he felt for the world around him, and black with the curse that was his life, beyond recognition.

Eren clenched his hands into fists and thought back to how confident Armin had been, flying through the sky using the 3DMG to stay put against the hot, smokey steam that ate away at his flesh. The blonde’s resolve was something Eren had admired, believing Armin had their victory against the titans assured for them, and their future together. Eren had been wrong. _So very wrong_. Armin was only sure of himself because he knew exactly what would happen—a cruel reality neither of them had envisioned for themselves when they were young and desperate for something better than what they had.

The only thing Eren remembered before erupting into a blind rage of fury unknown to mankind was Armin’s unmoving body on the ground, broken and charred.

The battle with the titans had been won, but at what cost?

Eren had jumped to his feet despite everyone telling him to save his strength and sought Armin out. Eren found Armin discarded and abandoned like any other fallen soldier, and cradled his still body against him. Eren entangled his fingers within Armin’s hair and pressed their foreheads together.

_Why, Armin? Why did you do it_? Eren found himself asking, as the moonlight shined down on him, the way it used to when he would sit around a camp fire with Armin. _Why did you leave me alone here?_ Hot tears trickled down Eren’s bruised face. He thought of how Armin had shown him a whole new world, how, with just a few thought provoking words and blue eyes that shown through the complacent haze in Eren’s mind. _If you had just talked to me, I would have figured out a way to protect you_.

_You were my clarity, I swear_

_Alone in a daydream_

_Yeah there was magic in the air_

_And you were right here beside me_

There were three times Armin saved Eren’s life. Each one was nothing more than a fond memory now.

From the first moment Armin introduced the outside world to Eren, Eren began to wake up from a day dream. The walls that surrounded them when they were young were not built to protect them; They were built to cage them. Humans were not free—Armin showed that to Eren, with a forbidden book that spoke about the world beyond the walls. Eren started to see the wide world in color for the first time, thanks to Armin and his heretic ways.

The second time Armin brought Eren back to reality—and saved his life, was when Eren was fusing into his titan form. On some subconscious level, Eren knew he had to lift the boulder up, and place it in front of the hole in the wall, but he instead thought to his family, and his childhood. Eren would have been swallowed up by his own mind if Armin hadn’t broken through that mind numbing day dream. The outside world, Armin reminded him, was somewhere he wanted—needed to be. _Their_ dream woke Eren up, and allowed him to regain control of the titan’s body.

Then the third time Armin saved Eren’s life was just today, when Eren had been knocked unconscious by the Colossus titan. Armin had laid on top of Eren’s chest and again spoke of their childhood dream—a dream that hadn’t been mentioned in years. Armin’s passionate voice shined a light into the crippling darkness Eren hadn’t been able to escape on his own. Eren had woken up with renewed vigor, trusting in his best friends word that everything would be okay—they would defeat the titans and win back humanity’s freedom and see the ocean together.

Armin lied.

_Held down like an angel with no wings_

_I wanna fly again_

_I just can't get you off my mind_

_And now I'm gonna be up all night_

_Whoa oh oh oh_

_"Have I ever lied to you before?" Armin challenged Eren, with determined, focused eyes._

_Eren closed his eyes with thought. No, Armin had never lied to him before. Yet, Eren had a gut feeling that Armin was lying now. Something was going to go wrong, horribly, harrowingly wrong...yet Eren did not call Armin out. Instead, Eren followed Armin's last words dutifully, even knowing he was going to lose his best friend forever._

"DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT! Why? WHY did you LIE to me?" Eren screamed brokenly, as he cradled the crispy remains of his friend. There wasn't much to grab but singed bone now, which only added to Eren's current distress. "You _lied_ to me!" 

_What am I going to do without you? We were supposed to see the ocean together_ …

A heavy, suffocating feeling came over Eren as he despaired over the loss of his best friend.

Their relationship was not supposed to end here—with so many things left unsaid, and dreams left shattered in the wake of the titans destruction.

_There had to be another way_. Eren thought, agonizing over Armin’s choice to sacrifice himself for humanity to have a chance at freedom. Eren held Armin’s cold body closer, and forlornly thought to their days as children.

Armin had always been independent and bright, guiding Eren effortlessly through the cruel world around them. Without Armin, where would Eren go? Where was the point in living?

_You are the reason I still will fight_ …Eren promised Armin silently, even though the blonde was long gone.

_Its tearing me up inside_

_I just can't get you off my mind_

Four years went by, with Eren just going through the motions of life and never feeling much of anything. This apathetic nature startled everyone at first, yet when Eren did not cheer up, they accepted that the war had taken its toll on him. Eren never bothered to correct them that there was only one incident that fucked him up; Armin’s heroic death and betrayal.

That harrowing day was still fresh in Eren’s mind, and he found it impossible to trust anyone because of Armin's single lie. There were so many things that he had wanted to say to Armin—and do with Armin that he could not get him out of his head. The intense feeling of regret and loss only seemed to multiply as Eren aged without his guardian angel. Life had lost both its color and appeal to Eren, who was still shell shocked over how cruel the world was.

Poor Armin never had a great life. Why couldn’t he have just lived to see the ocean? Eren wondered this a lot, when he was alone.

_I could have saved you. I would have saved you. Why didn’t you talk to me?_

_I tossed and turned in the end_

_With no one to talk to_

_I searched again and again_

_But I never found you_

Eren was a restless man, respected, revered and even worshipped as the human who rescued humanity from the titans. The amount of fame and attention he was showered with fell on death ears. No one could get through to him like Armin could. Since Armin’s death, Eren had been sleep walking. The minute he was alone with his thoughts, he thought of Armin, usually during the night when sleep would not grace him with its presence.

Even the day was filled with him zoning out to reflect back on his childhood, and days as a soldier. He didn’t care for this future he created, thanks to Armin. Fuck them. Fuck them all, and their happy lives—these people, these people that understood nothing of the tragedy of war. None of them deserved the peace Armin sacrificed himself for. Armin deserved the peace. Not them. They who spit on soldiers, and they who thrashed memorial monuments. They who feared the very soldiers that gave them this privileged life they led. Fuck them! 

These bitter thoughts changed Eren’s demeanor around people. He wasn’t friendly like he used to be, nor was he free and hopeful. He was chained down to this boring, lonely land, and responded to people with fake smiles, laughs, or frowns—whatever was needed to get them moving on their way.

Eren treated Mikasa a little better than he interacted with strangers. Mikasa was the only person in the world who could sort of understand what he was going through. Mikasa had been close to Armin as well, and in her own way, she had been devastated when Armin was murdered by people they thought had been their friends. Eren knew that at some point, Mikasa moved on with her life—it might have been the day that they married, or the day Mikasa bore Eren a son that she named Armin. Eren wasn’t entirely comfortable with the name choice because every time she called the baby’s name, his head shot up as a fleeting moment of hope flooded through him.

Mikasa wanted to honor Armin, and make sure his memory was not lost to time, since there would be no more Arlert’s in the world. Armin had died before he could bring a son of his own into the world to carry on his name so Mikasa was trying to help his legacy continue in any way that she could for his sake, and Eren’s sake. Eren understood this, but that didn’t mean that he was any less bothered by it.

By far, the worst time Eren had with coping with Armin’s absence in this world was every time he woke up from a dream of his childhood friend. After six years, Eren lost count of how many times he came to consciousness crying, because he had yet another dream of Armin and what _should_ have been. Each time, Eren would wipe his tears away with his arm and try to finish the day off quickly.

There were times that Eren swore he saw Armin on the street, until he took a better look at the person and realized their eyes were brown, or their nose was huge. Times like this, Eren knew that life was taunting him—fucking with him, kicking him in the gut over and over, tormenting him for sadistic fun. This was his karma.

_I cried and the tears fell from my eyes_

_Like a waterfall_

_And I swear I could feel you in my arms_

_But there was no one there at all_

_I trusted you—why did you not trust me_? Eren agonized over this question, and others as he knelt before the grave he dug for Armin so many years ago. Eren continually visited Armin’s grave yearly, to pour his heart out to him in a way he never had when they were alive.

“You didn’t have to die! I know there were other options!” Eren screamed suddenly, as he dug his fingers into the soft soil beneath him. “Yet you gave up on me, on us—on the world. We could have been something!” Eren ranted brokenly, to a grave that never once spoke back to him.

_I should have told him_. Eren thought as hot tears slid down his face in quick flowing rivulets. The tears dribbled down his chin and trickled onto the grave. _He might have thought twice about sacrificing himself_.

“Damn it, damn it, damn it!” Eren exclaimed, and pounded his frustration out on the Earth. He cried openly, without shame for this was the one day of the year he could voice his inner feelings without ridicule or disdain from other people who just do not understand what Armin meant to Eren.

Only on this day did he see color, and unlike when Armin was alive and he saw every color of the rainbow, he only saw the blue of Armin’s intellectual eyes.

_Why him_? _Why not me_? _I was the one fighting—I was the one too close to danger to realize how dangerous the situation was…yet he was the one that died and it’s all my fault. I couldn’t protect him…I didn’t protect him…I didn’t even see it coming_ …

“Mama, wut is wrong with papa?” Little Armin asked, as he nervously watched his father scream his heart out at a grave.

“He blames himself for his best friend’s death.” Mikasa replied bluntly, holding his small hand in hers.

“Will he ever be okay?” The child asked, for even though he was young, he knew his father wasn’t always paying attention to him. There were many times throughout the day that Eren seemed to be recalling memories of the past instead of focusing on the here and now with his family.

“No.” Mikasa answered, while the rain splattered onto the ground.

_A whisper on the air_

_Made my heart rate fall_

_When I heard you call_

_And I swear, I could hear your voice in my ear_

_But there was no one there at all_

“ _Eren_.”

The soft, familiar voice stopped Eren in his tracks. _Armin_? Eren wondered and took a closer look of the pedestrians around him. Once Eren determined that none of the people passing by were Armin, he sighed in both relief and disappointment. _I must be hearing things_.

“Eren?” Mikasa questioned, noticing how stiff Eren had become all of a sudden. She had not seen him this alert and attentive to his surroundings in years.

“ _Eerreenn_.”

“Fuck!” Eren exclaimed with elevated emotions flooding into him, _knowing_ Armin was calling to him. _Armin is here, he’s calling me_! Eren realized, knowing he could never mistake Armin’s unique voice for someone else’s. He bolted in the direction he heard Armin’s voice, leaving Mikasa and the child behind.

“Eren! What has gotten into you!?” Mikasa yelled after him as she picked the small boy up and ran after Eren, knowing something wasn’t right.

“Armin where are you?” Eren shouted as he rushed forwards blindly. _I know I heard him, I know I_ —”

Everything went black.

Warmth.

Peace.

Light.

_Where…where am I_? Eren wondered drowsily as he opened his sea green eyes and looked around to see every shade of gold possible and impossible.

_That matters not. What matters is that I am here with you_. A too familiar voice echoed inside of Eren’s head. Startled, Eren flipped his head left and right in a desperate attempt to pin point Armin. _Here. I am right here_. Eren snapped his head to the direction of his best friends voice and finally spotted him.

“Oh my God, Armin!” Eren exclaimed with sudden elation filling his entire being. Armin flinched back from the loud noise and placed his hands over his ears.

_Please use your inside voice. I couldn’t understand a word of what you said_. Armin told him.

_Inside voice_? Eren questioned himself, completely perplexed by Armin’s suggestion.

_Yeah, that one. Talk to me just like that_. Armin encouraged Eren, without ever parting his lips.

_You mean you can hear my thoughts_? Eren wondered, in awe of Armin.

_This is how we have always communicated with each other. Don’t you remember_? Armin pointed out, dawning a small smile. Eren thought for a moment and realized that Armin was right.

Back when Armin was alive, they said more to each other with their eyes then they ever did with their voice.

_I could never forget_. Eren promised, and returned Armin’s smile with one of his own.

_I am glad to hear that, I really am. I just…you’ve changed so much that I worry about you_. Armin murmured, and reached out to touch Eren’s chest. He slid his delicate hands along the ridges and canyons of Eren’s chest, awed by how much stronger Eren was now then he was back then. The muscles were envy worthy.

_Me? Look at you! You didn’t change at all_. Eren pointed out, viewing Armin as the same sixteen year old young man who sacrificed himself for humanity’s sake. The only difference was that there was an ethereal glow all throughout, and around Armin’s body that made Eren think of him as beautiful.

_No, I didn’t…and neither did they_. Armin gestured with his hand to a couple of people that were curious to Eren’s arrival.

_Oh God, tell me it’s not your time yet, Brat_. Levi pleaded sarcastically, from his _I-don’t-care-stance_ next to Erwin. Eren opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, taken aback by Levi’s presence here.

_Why are you here_? Eren asked, and briefly wondered why he hadn’t heard nor seen Levi for a couple of years.

_I wondered the same thing too_. Armin said, turning curious eyes to Levi who scoffed and looked away from them.

_He did not die heroically like I did_. Erwin answered for them, with a smug smile on his face.

_So I fucked up_. Levi spat, shame painting his face red. _You’ll never let me live it down, will you_?

_No. I have all of eternity to tease you_. Erwin smirked with amusement.

_I don’t understand, though. Where are we_? Eren asked, and saw more people he knew.

_Sometimes, Eren, it’s better not to ask questions_. _I implore you instead to listen to what I have to tell you before time runs out_. Armin said, trying to reign Eren’s attention back to him.

_Five_. Levi chimed in the background, to be a dick.

_Oh, sure. I suppose there are things I should tell you too_. Eren muttered, recalling only some of the thousands of things he wanted to tell Armin. He had recited everything he wanted to tell Armin like a strict religious prayer for years, yet he could barely remember one of them now.

_There’s no time for that and I already know anyways_. Armin said dismissively, and then continued, knowing he had to speak quickly. _I am happy that you are with Mikasa and I feel honored that she named your child after me_. 

_You know about that_? Eren questioned with surprise.

_We all do, actually. There’s no secrets once you’re here—just like I know you’re going to have two more sons, that Mikasa will name after me and Sir Grumps A lot_. Erwin stated, interrupting their conversation

_What_? Eren sputtered, unable to comprehend how Erwin could know such a thing.

_I will say now that I am honored to have my name put on a child of yours_. Erwin added, pride shining in his light blue eyes.

_Four_. Levi announced.

_Commander, This is my time with Eren. I summoned him here, and he’s my best friend so I would appreciate it if you would shut the hell up_. Armin spoke up with irritation, partly brought upon by Levi’s pressuring in the background.

_My apologies, Arlert_. Erwin said, and casually grabbed Levi’s ass, startling him.

_Hey! Hands off_! Levi snapped, and smacked Erwin’s hand away.

_I can not touch you even in death_? Erwin inquired with mock hurt.

_Fuck you_! Levi yelled, remaining bitter about the way Erwin left him alone in his life and worse, made him _feel_.

_Whoa, Armin. I never thought I would hear you talk like that_. Eren admitted.

_Don’t worry about it. I just want to tell you that I made the choice to sacrifice myself, and while I admit there might have been a way you could rescue me, we were in the heat of battle and that was the only plan I could come up with through my fear. I acted on the first plan I thought of, and there wasn’t time for me to change my mind even if I wanted to. I couldn’t let my resolve falter and I knew that if I told you what my plan was, we would lose our chance to save humanity. I could not live with myself if I made a selfish choice, even if I knew it would hurt you_. Armin confessed, resting his hands on Eren’s shoulders. _I hope you can forgive me, and yourself because my death was not your fault_.

_You do not get it, Armin. I cannot function without you! You are my clarity! I would have preferred death over living without you_! Eren exclaimed, as some of his bitter, desperate anger flared forth.

Narrowing his eyes, Armin had half a mind to smack Eren. _Do not be selfish, Eren. I did not want to die—I had to. I knew well you would become berserk and defeat the titans to save humanity. I was right, wasn’t I? And, humanity is more important then you or I, and it is definitely more important than what we feel for each other or even what we dreamed of as children._

_Shit, Two! I think_ —?” Levi declared suddenly, remembering he should be keeping track of the time. The young brats sappy moment was making him _feel_.

_Wait…you…are you saying_ …Eren stuttered as the fire he felt inside began to sputter out at the possibility that Armin loved him too.

_Yes, Eren, yes! I love you too!_ Armin clarified in a rush, knowing they were running out of time _._

_I…I never knew_ … _that you liked me too_. Eren murmured, stunned at Armin’s confession. If Armin had only lived, maybe they could have been together? The thought sent a surge of exhilaration through his body. _Armin likes me_! Eren thought giddily.

_Please, Eren, Focus_! _The good news is that_ _I will be right here waiting for you when you return here but now is not your time. You need to return to our world and be a father to your children, and teach them about us, and what and who we stood for…write a book if you have to, but if you don’t do something and keep us locked inside your memory, everyone here will fade from memory as if we never mattered. We do not want to become nameless soldiers because when people forget the past, similar harrowing events can occur. The people must learn from our mistakes_ , _and those of our fathers_.

As much as Eren wanted to remain here with Armin, a part of him knew that he did not yet belong here—wherever _here_ was. _Understood. I will do what I can_. Eren promised, dawning a reassuring smile.

ONE! Levi shouted.

Only now did Armin seem to panic and become uneasy. _Eren, I want you to know that I will wait for you here so that when you do join me, we can visit the ocean together! Just you and me, okay_? Armin told him, clearly rushed and impatient.

_You can visit the ocean here_? Eren asked, furrowing his eyebrows with confusion.

_We can visit anywhere and everywhere—Erwin said he got to see what was inside your basement after all so I am sure we can see the ocean together. So, go, hurry, live the life you’re supposed to. I’ll be waiting for you_. Armin explained.

_Is that a promise_? Eren questioned with an odd combination of hope and skepticism.

_Yes_! Armin said and stood on his toes while he wrapped his arms around Eren’s neck to yank him down to his height. Eren gasped with surprise but shut up instantly when he felt Armin smash their lips together. Eren’s heart started to flutter wildly with joy.

Just then, Eren was ripped violently away from Armin, and was being sucked back to darkness. He collided with something hard, which caused him to gasp audibly. All of a sudden, his head began to pound with pain as if he had been punched by a titan.

“EREN! Oh, Eren! You’re alive!” Mikasa exclaimed with a mixture of joy and relief as she threw her arms around him and began to weep. “Armin! Come quick, he’s alive. Your father is alright.” Mikasa shouted into the rest of the house, to gain the little boy’s attention.

“Ow, ow, ow! Don’t be so loud, Mikasa!” Eren yelled, and tried to shove her off of him but found his limbs to be extraordinarily heavy.

“Daddy!” The child said as he burst into the room, and pounced on top of Eren, having his father’s indomitable spirit. Mikasa kissed Eren’s cheek and stroked his copper skinned cheek with affection.

“We thought we lost you. The doctor said that if the swelling in your brain didn’t stop on its own, you’d die.” Mikasa informed Eren, and began to stroke his tangled brunette hair. Eren struggled to sit up and wrapped one arm around the little boy, clinging to him for dear life.

“I am okay. Actually, I feel good…calm…as if…I don’t know…I guess it’s something that Armin said that made me feel at peace with myself.” Eren confessed and with his other hand, began to rub Mikasa’s large stomach.

“Armin?” Mikasa questioned, knowing by the look in Eren’s eyes that he was referring to their best friend and not their child.

“Yeah. When I blacked out I saw him. Erwin and Levi were there too. Well, wherever _there_ is. I just know there were so many colors of gold that I couldn’t quite comprehend them all. I do remember feeling peaceful though.” Eren said, fondly recalling  his encounter with Armin. Mikasa studied Eren for a moment, silently trying to determine if Eren had been dreaming or if…or if there was something more to life then the here and now.

“Erin? Le-vi?” Armin asked, unable to pronounce their names correctly. Eren smiled and ruffled little Armin’s hair.

“I will tell you everything you need to know about them starting tonight at bed time. You can count on stories after stories.” Eren informed the little kid, who lit up at the prospect of hearing his father tell him stories.

“Stories!?” Armin wiggled with eager anticipation, his green eyes shining brightly.

“You feel better, though?” Mikasa inquired, wanting to know if she should still be worried or not about Eren.

“I feel great, which reminds me, Mikasa. What are you going to name the child?” Eren wondered and gestured to her stomach.

“I’m having twin boys." Mikasa replied, and smiled proudly as she set a hand on her engorged stomach.

"Really?" Eren asked, his eyes shining exuberantly for the first time in years.

"One will be named Levi, the other will be named Erwin.”


End file.
